Cheating is a concept.

 There is no formal training for relationships. As kids we just learned from our parents and other people how relationships are formed and maintain. That’s why nearly everyone has a childlike view of relationships. That’s why most fail. I could talk about this all day, but I’ll focus on the limited view of cheating. During my early relationship relationships in life women would cheat on me and then the relationship would self-destruct. it wasn’t until later in life that I learned that I had to make the choice of a woman who wanted to stay with me, even though she cheated on me. Their choice being do I love her enough to want to continue with her in my life or not. In this case I did. But I was still limited in my childlike view of relationships. To justify dealing with her actions, I would cheat on her.

This is toxic overtime because each of us had an expectation of the other that would never be met. Nowadays, things are very different. I could care less if women cheat on me because the concept is a childlike and silly concept. Entire relationships and marriages would fall apart at the first sign of someone cheating on the other. This is silly. Let them fuck whoever they want. Why am I an advocate for open relationship relationships? Because a true partner in life is someone who has the same goal of improving their life with you. Both of you have decided that life is better when you are together. Infidelity should not undermine that belief. Everyone has been cheated on and it feels crushing, only because you see it through the eyes of a child.

An example is in order. You are a child in Grade school, and today we’re all going on a field trip. How fun! Except that your best friend doesn’t want to go with you. Your best friend wants to go with their other friend and pairs up with them. Now you are alone and feeling left out! A childish reaction would be to think that you will never speak to them again and that your friendship is now over! This is because children don’t really have a concept of time. The next day, you will be best friends again and hanging out, but a child can’t see that far ahead. They tend to live in the moment.

As adults, we do the same thing. Time may be stretched out to months or years, But the same thought process applies. This comes down to just letting people doing what they want to do It doesn’t always involve you, Whether that’s taking a vacation, going out for a weekend, having sex or even just spending time without you. And that’s what it all comes down to. It is OK if someone does not want to spend time with you. Because there are times where they do. People come in and out of your life in intervals. 

There are people who get upset if their pet shoes affection for other people. Some people just want devotion, and that is not a relationship, whether with an animal or person or anything. That is just possession and that is where jealousy is born.

The same works for you. Sometimes you don’t always want to be with someone. You wanna go off and do your own thing? Go and do it without the expectation you’re gonna be hassled about it later. I guess I just like my independence.