Time to focus on the blog.





 Understand that this is a diary for me. Just a journal to short through the madness. After all, who can one talk to about such matters? I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'll certainly write about it. Yesterday, Justice had me take her to the RMV for the third time. She didn't have her papers that she needed. She blamed me. She said I didn't bring them from home. Okay, let's go get them. I knew she was lying. I took an hour off of work and left early for her bullshit. Then she took her sweet time and made me wait while she was shooting dope in her bathroom. Just as I was about to furiously drive off, she came out and started yelling at me. I immediately knew what she was doing. 

A narcissist will argue and blame you for their tardiness, or whatever they did wrong. They will start saying ,"well what about you?", "everyone else does it", "what's the big deal? Can we move past this or are you just not going to let it go?" They list off all your flaws and mistakes, accuse you of things they imagine you're doing, ANYTHING to keep from saying they are sorry and acknowledging that they did something to hurt you. Anything to avoid forcing themselves to admit they did something wrong, which is impossible in the eyes of a perfect person. Everyone else is the problem. They have more excuses than mistakes. 

So what's my reaction? Unrelenting stubbornness. I will hold the mirror to their nose until they look at themselves and see the ugliness. For her, I refused to move until I received a sincere apology. Or... At least, as good a one can receive from a narcissist. Her first attempt was unsatisfactory. "I'm sorry that you rushed me and now we're late." I shut off the car engine. "Ok, I'm sorry I made you wait, because...." Ii held up my hands and told her I don't want to hear excuses. Eventually she squeaked out a forced sorry... But only after she called another man and told him she needed a ride because I was being an asshole. I told her to get out. Her inner voice sparked to life and told her that if she says sorry, she will get what she wants. "Ok, I'm sorry."

Good enough. After the waste of time at the RMV, I took her to my place only to prove she was lying. She was fully expecting to do a date with me. Can't find the papers? Let's go! I stopped her off at home. 

I thought about picking up one of the several girls that texted me wanting to see me, but I was too pissed off. I went home, swam, ate, and went on VR for the night. I didn't even jerk off or fuck the fake pussy to VR porn. After beating off that temptation, I will save my load for the cousin. I know I am playing with the idea of glazing her face, but it's hard not to fill her pussy every time. The Israeli of getting her pregnant is primal, but I also feel like that family owes me. My girlfriend of over a decade died, taking her own life and leaving me nothing. 

The cousin is a whore. Even if she was knocked up, I wouldn't  believe that I would be the one to do it. However, you don't win the lottery if you don't play. 

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