Life continues.


 The blonde insisted on coming over today. I've been pushing her away for a few days now. Finally she came over. Any guy out there would be happy to have a blonde with a nice ass and half his age constantly wanting to fuck him, even if she wants him to pay for it. Even then what I give her is a pittance compared to what a girl like that could demand. For whatever reason she seem to latch on to me. I just don’t think any chemistry is really there between us. I can’t nail down the exact reason why she just doesn’t excite me. Unlike the brunette, who gets me rock hard with her natural sluttieness, ...I don't know. It's nothing she's doing wrong. She even let me videotape the whole thing, where I finally got to run with an idea I had of me wearing a VR headset and thinking that she’s a VR illusion when she’s actually real. She is a prime example of me finding it extremely difficult to say no to women. Most nights lately I’ve just wanted to stay home play on the couch with my phone. I don’t want to drop any money to get laid by a girl I don’t want to fuck. I get calls from a lot of women. And I think with the brunette in jail calling me all the time, I allow myself to believe that the two of us could actually become something. She has proven every single time that this is just an allusion, but it is a fun one. I briefly allow myself to believe the bullshit. I know full well the minute she gets out the bubble is going to pop.

I tried getting a video out of the cousin the other night but that didn't work out. Too dark and no good spot to go in the car. Next time if she wants a Benjamin, I'm going to insist. The blonde is much more pliable with the videos. I just don't like being with her. I think it’s because sex to me is uninspiring and boring. I’m not some teenager who is excited at the prospect of a girl touching him. I am someone who’s had his fill at the Buffet, and now the restaurants are calling wanting him to come eat. Certain women like the brunette get me excited, but also do a strange thing as well. They get me so that I’m not interested in other women. Sometimes I think the only thing  that would keep me from  womanizing is a good woman. I just can’t seem to find one.





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