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I though I could deal with Death.

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 The anthropomorphization of death is an easy way for us to deal with the abstraction of loss. You can't reason with the abstraction, but you can have an argument with a skull. You can deal with the five separate stages of grief far better than Hamlet lamenting what's left of his friend resting in the palm of his hand.  I tried saying women in the tradition set down through the generations. Find a girl you like, hope she likes you, ask her out on some dates, and hope it doesn't lead to heartbreaks and financial ruin. Pay for everything, pay for time, pay with money, pay with vindictiveness and hatred, be cast aside for a better model with more potential. Or maybe I'm just that hard to deal with. A girl won't want you if she doesn't respect you. Maybe I should have taken that swing at the other guy, stood my ground, fought harder, tried harder, done better.... Or maybe I should never have discovered that after crying myself to sleep night after night over these g...
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He's a piece of shit.

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 That's what people will think of me...if they don't already. What's the legacy here? To prey on vulnerable women, with a debilitating habit, poor, no resources, or assistance? Or, too take advantage of women who learned they can sell their pussy to get what they want. Manipulative women who took the easy way out. No. That's an excuse. But the deed is done. They come to me. I get calls, visits. They all know they can get money from a visit with me, and they are fine with this arrangement. One called, wanting to see me. I agreed. Another came too my door while we were there. I had to turn her away! I never did that before. A couple days later, I received a call from another girl that I haven't seen in a couple years. All this while Justice is in the hospital sick, the Cousin is roaming the streets heavily pregnant, and  the blonde is in rehab.  I'm debating whether too release a video of me screwing Justice on the couch. She's awake, but the video makes her l...
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Selfish Cunts

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 One in particular. Justice is recovering from an illness in the hospital for the foreseeable future. Whole inn there, she is deprived on her daily candy and is a complete Cunt to me one the phone. She has her dealer and some cronie dipshit come visit her, and they left a crack pipe that was found by the staff. So, no visitors now. No drop offs. She demanded a phone. No personal phones allowed. Now she's demanding I deliver burger King to her. When I refuse, she gets nasty and threatens me with whatever nonsense she can think of on the spot. At no point does she try talking to me, ask me how I'm doing, nothing, just do this for me or else. So I have to block the bitch again for the night. In other news, I don't know how I became top creator on xHampster, but here we are!
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New Years Ballin'

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 I don't feel like a stud. Opposite actually. Can't pull a single woman. The girls that call do so because I'm reliable. They know they'll get fucked. They know I'll cum inside them. They know they'll get the money they want. So, they hound me. Last night I caved and picked up this particular street rat that constantly hits me up. Most of the time, I ignore her, but I was watching Chaturbate again, and it didn't take me long to forgo the toy for the real thing. I picked her up off a street well known for prostitutes, and drive home. She has her eyes on her phone the whole time. I haven't fucked her in a long time. She gets to the house, goes to the couch, pulls her sweatpants down, and sits there. That's my signal to get on the couch, spread her legs, and start fucking here. I go in raw. She complained it hurts (it doesn't), that it's her boyfriend's birthday, and that 8 need too hurry up. She wants $80 for me to bust my nut in her. I pum...
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Comments & compliments.

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 Even the most denigrating comments left on xHampster are still comments. They may say she's an ugly bitch, or that the videos are sad, but they still took time to comment on the video. And that means they watched it. Which to me is a compliment, because uninteresting videos are simply skipped, scrolled past, and ignored. The worst insult to any entertainer is apathy. The golden rule: don't be boring! That said, there's a lot of envious men who do love watching me. I show videos where I'm not always a rock hard stud. That's unrealistic. There's other ways to please a woman. That's not even the goal with these prostitutes. So it becomes icing on the cake, sometimes literally. Today with the Cousin was no different. She still lies, messes up the house, trashes, steals, raids the fridge.  But don't get me wrong. I am aware of what she does. I tolerate her. She eats all the snacks. Fine. It pisses me off when I find cream filling on the light switches. That...
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Merry Christmas.

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 I did the rounds. Visited the family. Then I got the call. The Cousin wanted me to pick her up. She sounded full of shit. I agreed anyway. Picked her up from a known shelter. Now she's on my porch with a pack of cigarettes I bought her. I am reluctant to buy cigarettes, bite I don't want to fucking hear the arguing. She came over and went straight onto the porch. 8 am writing this while being manically pissed off at her. I'm tied and just want her to leave. 
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Infirmary and opportunity.

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